and come away feeling peaceful and connected

to your partner and yourself.

LISTEN TO A MESSAGE ABOUT THE BRUNCH WORKSHOP FROM AMY AND MICHAEL SHERMAN OF COURAGEOUS LOVING. (NOTE: may need to raise your volume!)

Anyone who plays an instrument knows you’ve got to make sure you’re in tune if you want to sound good.  If you give a talented guitar player an out-of-tune guitar, good chance he is going to sound terrible.  But once you tune-up the strings, even a beginner can generate a sweet sound.  So it is with marriage and relationships.  If we can “tune-up” the relationship, which often means simply paying attention to it and listening to our partners better, then even the most desperate couple can feel an immediate sense of peace and hope.

How do we know this?  Because we’ve seen this happen again and again and again.

As a couple who have worked in a professional context with hundreds of people on their relationships, we have witnessed dramatic and nearly instantaneous changes as partners learn new ways of tuning in to each other.  Whether you’re a “couple-in-trouble” or a “couple-who-cuddles,”  simply sharing a few hours with other people, learning some new ways of communicating, can truly help you take your relationship to the next level.

That is why COURAGEOUS LOVING is offering a 3-hour Couple’s Tune-Up Brunch Workshop.  We want to invite couples of all kinds into our home, to enjoy a meal and learn together.   We have a beautiful location, with a spacious living room and an acre of land (weather permitting) to enjoy a meal, connect, learn and heal together.   We will create safe space for all of our guests to come in and have a new experience.

COUPLES WHO ATTEND THIS WORKSHOP WILL EXPERIENCE:

A)  A sense of renewal, hope and positivity.

B) A feeling of being heard and respected.

C) A deep sense of being appreciated for who you really are.

D) A release from negativity and hurtful communication habits.

E) An understanding of one’s partner that will liberate the relationship.

F) A new feeling of confidence in one’s relationship and oneself.

WHO IS THIS WORKSHOP FOR?

Couples of all kinds.  If you are married, if you are getting married or thinking about it, if you are in a long term relationship, if you are divorced and still in consistent connection with your former spouse, if you are having problems in your relationship or if you are happy in your relationship and want to experience something new, LGBT couples, co-parents, life partners.

Here’s what some of our former workshop attendees have said about their experience:

“Amy and Michael created an atmosphere that was very comfortable and inviting for me and my partner.  It was non-threatening, not intimidating or overwhelming.  I appreciated the celebration of every step of progress.”    -Angela M., Courageous Loving Workshop Guest

“This is the kind of work that not only can have a profound impact on individuals and couples but has the potential to create a global tide of understanding and thereby peace.”
-Alan B., Courageous Loving Workshop Guest

COUPLE’S TUNE-UP

BRUNCH and WORKSHOP

Sunday, August 1st,  10am-1pm

COURAGEOUS LOVING HOME CENTER

4 Sparrow Ave., Chestnut Ridge, NY  10977

$75 per couple – includes healthy, homemade brunch

For more info, or to register call Michael Sherman  (845) 290-0565

or send an email to Michael@CourageousLoving.com

SPACE IS LIMITED.  PLEASE REGISTER NOW!

If you are unable to attend for whatever reason, but you are curious about our work, we invite you to submit a relationship question to our free coaching site.   We will respond with an empowering and insightful email written by one of our professional relationship experts.

Simply click:  www.FreeRelationshipCoaching.com

To share this post, kindly click below:

JOIN OUR EMAIL LIST and you will receive a FREE E-BOOK called: “How to Turn Frustrating Relationships into Your Dream Life” -    To Sign Up – CLICK: HERE

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

AUDIO PROGRAM -”RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE ROADMAP TO DESTINY” – is a powerful and transformative audio program that will help you learn the inner meaning of relationship frustration and bring you a renewed sense of hope, empowerment and inner peace.

To learn more about this 3 Hour Audio Program, and the wonderful collection of informative and healing bonus material that comes with it  – CLICK: HERE

How can Imago Dialogue turn any situation into a spiritual moment?

Over the past few weeks, Mondays have turned into mini-crisis management days.  Two Mondays ago, we faced a scare of having to turn in our license plates to the state of New York (just paid a fine – whew!). Last week Amy opened her bank account and found money stolen (identity theft is real, folks). Yesterday, Amy’s father was in the hospital, coming off heart surgery at Mt. Sinai on the Upper East Side of NYC.  It was wet and cold, I was sick (as you can hear in the recording above), and I imagined that if this was a decade ago – a younger, much less likable version of me from the past would have been hearing the voice in my mind complain, something like, “Why do I have to be here?  It’s her father.  Doesn’t she understand I have to work today?”

Instead, without hesitation, I walked side by side with my partner, heading to a Deli to by chicken soup for my father-in-law, grateful for the opportunity to be present and supportive.  As I walked from this posture, an APPRECIATION bubbled up within Amy, one very similar to what we’ve recorded above.

It was simply my presence that awakened Amy a sense that she has a partner, and how much that means to her.  So she invited me into an IMAGO DIALOGUE right there on the street, to share her APPRECIATION within a structured method of communication.

To do so on the fly, right there as we walked down the streets of New York, is like being a jazz musician at a jam session. Whaddaya want play?  You know that one…. alright. SNAP. 2…, 3…, 4… DIALOGUE! The structure of IMAGO DIALOGUE turns small moments into big moments, transforms the nerves of handling the unknown, or entering potentially distressful environments, into an experience of connection and open-heartedness.

The structure allows you to yield to a partner, to feel safe in surrendering as her feelings blend within the space you are providing her.  If you follow the rules, you can’t help but be touched, or at least to feel grounded and safe.

TRY THIS:

Listen to the IMAGO DIALOGUE above, and see if you notice the dynamics, the space that we’re creating, and the way that what I receive from Amy’s “send” touches a memory within me that brings me to a deeper place.  Scroll up, listen and click the link above to leave a comment.

While your at it, take a look at this piece about “Deep Conversations” by Tim Atkinson, the Director of Imago Relationships International.  http://tinyurl.com/yb87f7a

Peace.

Michael

JOIN OUR EMAIL LIST and you will receive a FREE E-BOOK called: “How to Turn Frustrating Relationships into Your Dream Life” -    To Sign Up – CLICK: HERE

FREE EMAIL RELATIONSHIP COACHING – Let us answer your toughest question about personal or professional relationships.  Submit your question – CLICK: HERE

“RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE ROADMAP TO DESTINY” – A fascinating and transformative 3 Hour Downloadable audio program.  Comes with many supportive bonuses.  Only $27.   To Learn More, CLICK: HERE

Why is APPRECIATION like martial arts for relationships?

Several months ago, I was lucky enough to hear Marianne Williamson speak.  She’s incredibly captivating, and her biography is as dramatic as her radiant presence.  When talking about how much of a mess she was, she wailed, “What is my problem?!? Why can’t I remember that as long as I pray and meditate I’m okay, and when I don’t I’m not okay!“  It all comes back to daily practice…

Tonight was a big night for me.  I just returned from aikido class – something I haven’t done on a regular basis in nearly 10 years.  After a slam on the mat and a twist up my wrist, it all came back to me — and I wondered: What the hell have I been doing all this time? Like Marianne Williamson, as long as I train, I’m okay.  When I don’t, I’m not okay.

In my relationship with Amy, it goes like this: As long as we do Imago Dialogue, we’re okay.  When we don’t, we’re not okay.  DAILY PRACTICE. And the thing about the Imago Appreciation Dialogue is that it allows you to give and receive uplifting positivity as a habit, as a gift that you deserve.  But with Dialogue, this gift is less like a once-a-year Christmas toy wrapped in paper, and more like a glass of water, whose cool reliability awakens your energy and stretches your senses.

TRY THIS:

Today, focus on appreciating 3 people.  Keep track.  Get it over with.  1) There’s the girl who gets me coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts:  “Nice Earrings.” 2) There’s your boss who is working extra hard lately:  “I really appreciate how much effort you put into your work.  It makes it easier for me to do my job.”  3) There’s your spouse who had a hard day:  “Did you know that you are a really terrific (fill in the blank), and whenever you (fill in the blank), I feel peaceful.

Try it. Write me and let me know how it goes.

Warmly, Michael

3 week Interactive Teleclass Program:  “Money, Relationships and Destiny”: How to to free yourself from predicament and turn around your life into infinite possibility and joyful contribution. Begins March 8th.  9-10pm EST.  Early bird pricing now available.  CLICK:  HERE

FREE RELATIONSHIP COACHING VIA EMAIL – Get your toughest question answered (personal or professional relationships).  Discreet, clear, insightful feedback coaching – CLICK: HERE

“RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE ROADMAP TO DESTINY” – 3 Hour Downloadable Audio Program.  Learn how to move beyond frustration and discover the hero within you.  Comes with helpful bonuses.  Only $20! Available for a limited time. Learn more – CLICK: HERE

How well do you know yourself? On the inside and out?

Take a moment to think about how the world perceives you. This can be a scary proposition for some people. We may be afraid to notice these things about ourselves that are always present but we don’t dare accept. This is the seed of self-criticism.  Awareness, even of the ugly, brings liberation.

I am no exception, of course. Ugly thoughts started way too early for me: Too short, too heavy, too slow, too intense, too moody, too Jewish, too weird.

And there’s a lot of truth in that. I perceive it, the world perceives it.  Time to accept it.

There’s also – brilliance, kindness, endurance, creativity, innovation and a powerhouse of miracles within me.  Time to accept this as well.

We all have this. We all have our dark side, our less attractive side, our difficult side. And we all have dynamic beauty and gorgeous spirituality that connects us to the blissful essence of source and life.

There’s nothing wrong with either side. They just are.

So – here’s a question: How do we get the dark side to work for the light side? How do we ignite the energy of the ugly to be of service to the beautiful.

Think about it and write a response.

Much love,
Michael

RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS?  GET FREE FEEDBACK FROM A COURAGEOUS LOVING COACH VIA EMAIL.  CLICK: HERE and Submit your quesiton now.

So much of what happens in relationships triggers all kinds of feelings within us.  Sometimes these are feelings of joy and exuberance, and other times these are feelings of frustration and despair.  It all starts with our bodies, so if we long to discover the healing path of relationships, we will always be brought back to our bodies.

Paul Lamb and Dorothy Whitton are two experts who know how to awaken the Healer Within.  Listen to this conversation with them above and leave a comment.

IF YOU LIVE IN THE NYACK, NY AREA, JOIN US THIS SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6th at 3pm, FOR A WORKSHOP WITH PAUL AND DOROTHY AT THE COURAGEOUS LOVING CENTER.  “THE HEALER WITHIN” – $10 in advance – to learn more or register, CLICK: HERE.

SCROLL DOWN BELOW TO PURCHASE A “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE

BRACELET” – $10 each (we cover the shipping anywhere in the world).  All proceeds go to the Imago Peace Project, helping Israeli and Palestinian couples work through conflict as a group with healing dialogue.

Hey there – I want to welcome you to a new tradition.  Fridays on this blog, The Courageous Loving Nation, will be devoted to “Give Inner Peace A Chance.”  This is going to be a wonderful project that I intend to share with the entire world.   Here’s how it works.

We’ll be including material (audio, video and the written word) every Friday that somehow connects to how inner peace was found within a relationship.  Now what does that mean?  Read below:

INNER PEACE IN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: It can mean the healing and growth of a married couple.  It can mean the positive results of taking your mother to therapy.  It can mean burying the hatchet between two old friends.  And more.

INNER PEACE AT WORK: It may be the story of a peaceful resolution of conflict in the workplace.  How you and your boss found a way to accept each other and create success for your company.  How you found a way to deal with a difficult co-worker or client.  Or it can be something you witnessed in someone else at work — a healing of a professional relationship (be it at your workplace, or somehow you heard the story of conflict resolved in some professional environment that would make a good story).

FOR THERAPISTS, COACHES AND HOLISTIC HEALERS or other related professionals: You can share the story of healing and growth that you have witnessed in a client, or that you have seen happen in your client’s relationship.  You can even share how you found more inner peace through the client-caregiver relationship.

INNER PEACE IN THE WORLD COMMUNITY: And if you know of a story around the world where any two parties found a way to discover inner peace in their relationship – that works, too.  Perhaps two boys in neighboring towns in a thrid world country find a way to relate.  Perhaps women come together to celebrate themselves and become a healing force.  Anything that somehow creates more peace from the inside out and deals with relationships – that counts!

We wil be collecting stories of Inner Peace through relationships and sharing them on Fridays on this blog.  If you would like to submit a story, please go to our website: www.CourageousLoving.com and click the “Give Inner Peace” page (see buttons at the left) and submit your story.  It must be 250 words or less, and use first names only in the story to keep it anonymous.  If you prefer to do an audio or a video piece, contact us and ask.

In the meantime, you can help increase the Inner Peace by purchasing a Give Inner Peace A Chance bracelet.  It’s only $10 and all the proceeds go to the Imago Peace Project – an initiative that teaches healing Imago Dialogue to Palestinian and Israeli couples and brings the couple together for a powerful Communalogue experience.  Our politicians may not be able to bring peace from the outside in, but we can work to bring peace from the inside out.  All the proceeds go to the Peace Project – and Courageous Loving will take care of the shipping wherever you are in the world.  See below for action steps.

Thank you so much, and please… GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE.

PURCHASE A “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE” BRACELET FOR $10!  All proceeds will go to the Imago Peace Project in the Middle East.  Courageous Loving will pick up the tab for shipping wherever you are in the world.  TO PURCHASE A BRACELET – CLICK: HERE

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT COURAGEOUS LOVING’s  “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE” MOVEMENT or THE IMAGO PEACE PROJECT, CLICK: HERE

PART 1 of a Series of 3 Monday Blog Posts on THE POWER OF APPRECIATION

STEP 1:  ASK PERMISSION

One of the most powerful effects of offering someone an appreciation is how quickly it can transform your mood.  In an instant, you can change the entire emotional fabric of a relationship with an appreciation. There have been many times when Amy and I have pulled ourselves out of conflict by stopping and “rebooting” with an Imago Appreciation Dialogue.  And when we have practiced Appreciation Dialogues for no other purpose other than to connect with each other, it has allowed us to open the door to a new level of personal discovery with each other.  It brings us back to the present moment with open-hearted kindness.

Giving and receiving an appreciation is a deep experience.  It is not to be glanced over.  My friend Judy Umlas, author of the book The Power of Acknowledgment has shared with me that too often, people have a tendency to set aside appreciations, saying something like, “Oh that’s nothing.” How many times have you heard something like that? Or said something like that?

The problem is that when we give an appreciation, it is a little gunshot of love and awareness that we are directing at our partner, whoever that partner may be, and they might not be ready to receive it.  Why?  Because when we let someone’s love in, the emotion may also touch a place of pain inside of us.  Love is a deeply healing emotion, and sometimes people don’t want to experience it.  How many of you have someone in your life who doesn’t know how to receive your love? It’s as if they are saying to you, “Please don’t love me, because you will force me to feel my pain — and I’m not ready to go there.”

This is why it is so important to ask permission before you begin sending an appreciation.  Now, please understand, many of you are not familiar with the context of Imago Dialogue (YET!), however this piece of advice applies even if you simply want to offer someone an appreciation outside the context of an Imago Dialogue (listen above to a sample dialogue, or peruse our previous blog posts for other examples – see right column below).

Why ask permission?  Because it is a kind way of inviting them into an emotional space with you – a space where they have now given you permission to connect with them.  It’s like saying, “Knock, Knock – I’d like to open your heart, and I want to make sure you’re ready.”  This is an extremely respectful thing to do (especially with work relationships), and it may prevent you from hearing, “Oh, that was nothing,” or “Don’t mention it.”  Those kinds of responses are defenses.  What you want to hear the receiver say is “Thank you.”

Listen to the audio.  Amy knows very well that I’m about to give her an appreciation, but I still ask permission anyway. “I’d like to offer you an appreciation.  Is now a good time?” “Yes.” Great. Now I’m in.  I have entered her emotional field.  It is as if now we are standing in a tent together, protected in a cozy space, fully able to focus on each other.  I have set a context for the experience – and, folks, the following sentence is sooooo important!  Context is always more important than content. How you say something, where and when you say something, will always make more of an impact than what it is you have just said.  Permission creates a context for the receiver to open their heart, however defended or unfocused they may have been before you asked.

This week, offer someone an appreciation – but before you do: ASK PERMISSION.

So here’s a question for you to comment on -  What is more gratifying:  Giving or Receiving and Appreciation? Please scroll up and click the Comment Link and let us know your thoughts.

Thank you!  Warmly, Michael Sherman, Founder Courageous Loving.

(Kindly check back on Friday for our new “Give Inner Peace A Chance” experience).

JOIN OUR LIST AND RECEIVE A FREE 12 PAGE REPORT: How to Turn Frustrating Relationships into Your Dream Life. CLICK: HERE

FOR THERAPISTS, COACHES and HOLISTIC HEALERS:  Join us for a “Courageous Clients” – A Free Teleseminar Training – Tuesday, December 1st, 3pm EST – Grow Your Practice and Discover New Tools and Insights about Relationships.  To Learn more or RSVP – CLICK: HERE

SCROLL DOWN BELOW TO PURCHASE A “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE

"Give Inner Peace A Chance" Bracelets

BRACELET” – $10 each (we cover the shipping anywhere in the world).  All proceeds go to the Imago Peace Project, helping Israeli and Palestinian couples work through conflict as a group with healing dialogue.

Hey there – I want to welcome you to a new tradition.  Fridays on this blog, The Courageous Loving Nation, will be devoted to “Give Inner Peace A Chance.”  This is going to be a wonderful project that I intend to share with the entire world.   Here’s how it works.

We’ll be including material (audio, video and the written word) every Friday that somehow connects to how inner peace was found within a relationship.  Now what does that mean?  Read below:

INNER PEACE IN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: It can mean the healing and growth of a married couple.  It can mean the positive results of taking your mother to therapy.  It can mean burying the hatchet between two old friends.  And more.

INNER PEACE AT WORK: It may be the story of a peaceful resolution of conflict in the workplace.  How you and your boss found a way to accept each other and create success for your company.  How you found a way to deal with a difficult co-worker or client.  Or it can be something you witnessed in someone else at work — a healing of a professional relationship (be it at your workplace, or somehow you heard the story of conflict resolved in some professional environment that would make a good story).

FOR THERAPISTS, COACHES AND HOLISTIC HEALERS or other related professionals: You can share the story of healing and growth that you have witnessed in a client, or that you have seen happen in your client’s relationship.  You can even share how you found more inner peace through the client-caregiver relationship.

Increase the Inner Peace in the Middle East

INNER PEACE IN THE WORLD COMMUNITY: And if you know of a story around the world where any two parties found a way to discover inner peace in their relationship – that works, too.  Perhaps two boys in neighboring towns in a thrid world country find a way to relate.  Perhaps women come together to celebrate themselves and become a healing force.  Anything that somehow creates more peace from the inside out and deals with relationships – that counts!

We wil be collecting stories of Inner Peace through relationships and sharing them on Fridays on this blog.  If you would like to submit a story, please go to our website: www.CourageousLoving.com and click the “Give Inner Peace” page (see buttons at the left) and submit your story.  It must be 250 words or less, and use first names only in the story to keep it anonymous.  If you prefer to do an audio or a video piece, contact us and ask.

In the meantime, you can help increase the Inner Peace by purchasing a Give Inner Peace A Chance bracelet.  It’s only $10 and all the proceeds go to the Imago Peace Project – an initiative that teaches healing Imago Dialogue to Palestinian and Israeli couples and brings the couple together for a powerful Communalogue experience.  Our politicians may not be able to bring peace from the outside in, but we can work to bring peace from the inside out.  All the proceeds go to the Peace Project – and Courageous Loving will take care of the shipping wherever you are in the world.  See below for action steps.

Thank you so much, and please… GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE.

Donate $10 to the Imago Peace Project

PURCHASE A “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE” BRACELET FOR $10!  All proceeds will go to the Imago Peace Project in the Middle East.  Courageous Loving will pick up the tab for shipping wherever you are in the world.  TO PURCHASE A BRACELET – CLICK: HERE

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT COURAGEOUS LOVING’s  “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE” MOVEMENT or THE IMAGO PEACE PROJECT, CLICK: HERE

Listening to Stephen and Sonja talk about the “near-death” experience of their relationship

Stephen and Sonja Francis

- where arguments in the early years of their marriage led to an attack with a Milkshake, I am brought to a place of faith and hope and purpose.  Like Amy and myself, Stephen and Sonja now lead seminars, they coach clients, they are becoming leaders in this field.  And like Amy and myself, they are not perfect – as they share on the audio.  Working with people in the field of relationship training is less about being perfect and more about being a product of the process.  I am always reminded of those old “Hair Club for Men” commercials:  I’m not only the President, I’m also a member.

Amy and I are hardly perfect. My goodness, we just led a public teleseminar and we had our snippy moments.  My fault, her fault — we’re both Type A, Dominant, “IT’s MY TURN NOW” people.  We’re always going to be that.  But we are devoted to working on ourselves everyday.  I’m willing to admit that I’m not always getting the results I want out of me, but that doesn’t turn off my commitment.  Blame has no place in my relationship – and if it’s there, it’s probably because I haven’t accepted something about Amy, or about myself.

We’ve been to that dark place, that Milkshake-Over-Your-Head place.  Sometimes it feels like it’s right around the corner, and sometimes it feels like it’s on vacation and it’s letting us have a run of harmonious happiness.  What keeps us coming back to each other?  Doing the work.  Keeping agreements, creating safety, asking for dialogues, showing up to work with others, healing what needs to be healed in our family of origin.  What brings us back to each other are those moments when Amy will say something like, “I couldn’t have married anyone else.”  When she witnesses me taking action to making something right in our relationship, with my family, in my career, with my health — it’s like the feeling of a proud parent who loves you like a forever friend.

So – if you are getting close to a “Milkshake Moment” – it’s okay.  Dump it.  Then make another one and drink it. With two straws.  You’re not the only one who’s been there.

EXPERIENCE MICHAEL SHERMAN OF COURAGEOUS LOVING INTERVIEWING STEPHEN AND SONJA LIVE THIS THURSDAY NIGHT, 9PM EST.  CLICK: HERE

JOIN OUR MAILING LIST AND RECEIVE A FREE 12 PAGE REPORT: How to turn frustrating relationships into your dream life! CLICK: HERE

LISTEN BELOW TO A LIVE IMAGO APPRECIATION DIALOGUE!

This is a very exciting moment for us.  Today we begin bringing this blog to you on a daily basis – adding content that will help you to answer the question above – and hearing your answer.  We will be adding audio, video and text that stimulate your mind and open your heart – and teach you how the clues to your destiny lie in your relationships.

So I invite you to listen below.  Amy and I are both practitioners of Imago Dialogue, a technique that creates safety between any two partners. If you want to learn more about Imago – go to our website: www.CourageousLoving.com and Click: “Our Story”.  In the meantime – jump right in and click the button below to listen to a live Imago Appreciation Dialogue that Amy and I recorded last night.  Listen to the nuances of how we connected to each other, and how we turned something as simple as giving the baby a bath into something more.

Hearing an Imago Dialogue may seem strange at first, but to us, this is a daily practice in our relationship.  Think of it as “spiritual martial arts” – protecting you and connecting you.

If you want to learn more about what’s happening your relationships, this may be the beginning of your journey.  If you are a therapist, counselor, coach or holistic healer, we will offer these kinds of dialogue for you to reference for yourself or your clients.  Write your comments below.  We’d love to hear from you.

We will be offering dialogues such as this one multiple times a week for you to listen to and learn more.  We will also include some great stuff to enlighten your mood and offer you insights to experience the deepest, warmest joy in all your relationships — including your professional relationships.

So come check back to The Courageous Loving Nation, tell your friends and colleagues, and click the RSS button if you would like to subscribe to this blog.  Thanks for reading. – Michael Sherman