LOVE, LOVE, LOVE: The deepest, warmest Valentine’s gift

WATCH BELOW AS EACH OF THE MARX BROTHERS OFFERS YOU A MESSAGE OF LOVE FOR VALENTINE’S WEEK (Laugh a little – from Michael and Amy Sherman of Courageous Loving)

What is the best way to make someone feel special on Valentine’s Day?

Roses are a wonderful Valentine’s gift. The thrill of a surprise delivery of a dozen red roses received at the office sets the heart a flutter. Unless your name is Amy Sherman (my wife, for you newcomers).  In her case, such a gift sent by her hubbie would lead to the following response: “Nice. But I wish you would have spent the money on a gift certificate to Lord and Taylor’s. Or Macy’s.  Or even frikkin’ Target, already…”

For some, Valentine’s Day comes with a lot of pressure. How will you make your sweetie feel loved this year? If you’re tossing candy darts at a dartboard like Cupid with a blindfold on, you’re apt to miss the mark.  And that disappointment under such heightened expectations can have a ripple effect that lasts beyond February 14th.

Here’s what I suggest.  RELAX!

Take a breath. Then reflect. And open yourself to the idea of validation.

Validation is simply making someone feel like what’s important to them is important to you. And when you validate someone with your words or your actions or your gifts – it comes across like a high pop fly in baseball landing in the heel of a glove. Plop. That was supposed to feel that way.

Perfect.

TRY THIS: Before Valentine’s Day, really listen to your sweetie, or try to remember the things they’ve been thinking about for the last few weeks or months.  Simply listen and remember – and then take some creative action based on what’s been going through their heads.

For example – (Amy — if you’re reading this…) – as you may guess from the video above, I’ve been sinking my teeth into the Marx Brothers over the last few weeks. If someone wanted to go out and buy me a boxed set of DVD’s – I might plotz so hard, you’d have to call 911.  But you don’t have to spend to make someone feel validated.  A little creativity goes a long way.  A YouTube video, a poem written a la Groucho, a scribble with a Harp on it left on a wallet or a cellphone or a car dashboard …. anything like that and I’ll know that you’ve been listening to me.

And that feels mighty good.

It works for negative moods as well.  Meaning, for those of you who know any accountants suffering through tax season right now (my mother included), think of something that will help them come up for air.  If my Mom heard the words, “I know how hard you’ve been working,” it would sound as sweet to her as a song of little birdies in a nest at the break of day.

Ball in glove, folks.  Validation feels like a shoe that fits.  Only it’s not your shoe. This year, show someone that you really get them.

Much love,  Michael

DISCOVER THE ART OF VALIDATION – FREE TELECLASS  with Amy and Michael Sherman of Courageous Loving – Learn to make sense of the difficult people in your life – Thursday, February 11th, 2010 9pm EST – TO REGISTER – CLICK: HERE

NEW YORK AREA – VALENTINE’S DAY EVENT AT THE COURAGEOUS LOVING CENTER IN NYACK, NY – “INDIAN LOVE SEDER” – An exotic, delicious and insightful way to celebrate Valentine’s Day for Individuals and Couples.  Home made Indian food will be served.  $20 in advance.  To learn more or to register, CLICK: HERE