APPRECIATION DIALOGUE – Explain Why This Means Something To You

LISTEN BELOW TO A LIVE IMAGO DIALOGUE BETWEEN AMY AND MICHAEL SHERMAN OF COURAGEOUS LOVING:

One of the things I’ve learned over the years becoming a husband and a father is that appreciation goes a long way. Offering an appreciation truly shifts the energy between Amy and myself – whether it be during a time where we feel good about each other and we want to feel even better, or if we’re losing our cool and we need to stop the bleeding.

Having worked as an Imago Dialogue Coach for several years now, one of the most curious pieces about this form of dialogue is how it allows one to slip into a deeper place of reflection while still being connected with your partner.  In other words, Amy can appreciate me for what kind of father I am, which is terrific to hear, but when she shares why that appreciation is important to her or what it gives her, it allows her to go to a place within – perhaps an old memory or an unfulfilled need.  By voicing this, she creates an even deeper connection between us.  She allows me to witness that deeper place within her.  Which is a very cool thing to experience.

“I appreciate how you play with our daughter…. and what that means to me is that I can really relax about my being a mother.  I can know that my daughter is in good hands, and that puts me at ease. I can feel like I am really home.”

See, that first part is a terrific appreciation – but the second part deepens the connection between Amy and myself and between Amy and herself! By my knowing what this really means to her, the next time I play with our daughter, I may be reminded of Amy’s words, which will anchor a in me feeling of deep positivity which I could not do myself.

So take a moment – think about someone you appreciate (or someone who is frustrating to you, but who you would be willing to stretch towards by offering an appreciation).  Think of why you appreciate them, and then think about what that appreciation means to you, or explain why it is important to you.

TODAY’S QUESTION:  What is something that touches you about someone in your life? Kindly share your appreciation about that person on this blog by scrolling up and clicking the comment link.

Thank you.

Warmly, Michael

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