CLICK ABOVE TO LEAVE A COMMENT ABOVE THAT ANSWERS THIS QUESTION:
As an empowered parent, what are the most important issues to you during the holiday season?
YOUR COMMENTS WILL BE RESPONDED TO BY PARENTING EXPERT, DR. KATHLEEN CUNEO, AT OUR NEXT FREE THURSDAY TELECLASS (TO RSVP, SEE LINK BELOW):
MY ANSWER:
When I think about this question, the words that stand out to me are “The Holiday Season.” I wish I associated those words more positively. Is it simply about being raised Jewish and
Michael Sherman of Courageous Loving
feeling disoriented every December? Honestly, I think that’s a piece of it. I’ve got Christmas envy, no doubt. I wouldn’t be surprised if sometime down the road I came home with a Tree.
The holidays mean “having to show up.” There are certain sweaters I have which seem to be set aside for holiday gatherings (orange, fuzzy sweaters). There are a lot of mental negotiations that go on in my head before attending a holiday gathering. Who’s going to be there? What can I say to this person? What can I not say to that person?
You don’t have to relate to my neurosis. They’re mine and I like them that way.
As a parent for the last 2 years, the meaning of the holidays has shifted. My daughter deserves to feel nothing but enjoyment about the holidays. She doesn’t need to answer these neurotic questions – and I hope they never come up for her. Upon reflection, these questions don’t serve me either. There’s more to me than this.
Forgiveness to me is a key tool towards empowerment. My ability to forgive others and myself, allows me to set aside these deflating questions, allow the people who represent “The Holidays” to me to be as they are. Because ultimately, the way I had framed them in my head is really all about me, anyway. Forgiveness allows me to release this mental burden and be fully present.
Being a parent has helped open the door to forgiveness, which clears my mind. And with clarity, comes empowerment. In our recording below, listen to how Amy and I model forgiveness as partners and parents together.
What issues are coming up for you as a parent during the holidays? Leave your thoughts and questions in a comment (above).
Warmly, Michael
LISTEN BELOW TO A LIVE “FORGIVENESS” DIALOGUE WITH AMY AND MICHAEL SHERMAN OF COURAGEOUS LOVING
JOIN US FOR A FREE TELECLASS ON EMPOWERED PARENTING
Parenting Expert Dr. Kathleen Cuneo
DURING THE HOLIDAYS – with psychologist and parenting expert Dr. Kathleen Cuneo (www.DrCuneo.com). Thursday, December 3rd, 9pm. To Register, CLICK: HERE
EXPERIENCE THE COURAGEOUS LOVING RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT – Discover a vision of your empowered, higher self by focusing on one key relationship in your life. To learn if this is for you, CLICK: HERE
LISTEN BELOW TO AN AUDIO BY MICHAEL SHERMAN DESCRIBING THE COURAGEOUS LOVING “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE” PROJECT AND HOW YOU CAN HELP INCREASE THE INNER PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST
SCROLL DOWN BELOW TO PURCHASE A “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE
BRACELET” – $10 each (we cover the shipping anywhere in the world). All proceeds go to the Imago Peace Project, helping Israeli and Palestinian couples work through conflict as a group with healing dialogue.
Hey there – I want to welcome you to a new tradition. Fridays on this blog, The Courageous Loving Nation, will be devoted to “Give Inner Peace A Chance.” This is going to be a wonderful project that I intend to share with the entire world. Here’s how it works.
We’ll be including material (audio, video and the written word) every Friday that somehow connects to how inner peace was found within a relationship. Now what does that mean? Read below:
INNER PEACE IN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: It can mean the healing and growth of a married couple. It can mean the positive results of taking your mother to therapy. It can mean burying the hatchet between two old friends. And more.
INNER PEACE AT WORK: It may be the story of a peaceful resolution of conflict in the workplace. How you and your boss found a way to accept each other and create success for your company. How you found a way to deal with a difficult co-worker or client. Or it can be something you witnessed in someone else at work — a healing of a professional relationship (be it at your workplace, or somehow you heard the story of conflict resolved in some professional environment that would make a good story).
FOR THERAPISTS, COACHES AND HOLISTIC HEALERS or other related professionals: You can share the story of healing and growth that you have witnessed in a client, or that you have seen happen in your client’s relationship. You can even share how you found more inner peace through the client-caregiver relationship.
INNER PEACE IN THE WORLD COMMUNITY: And if you know of a story around the world where any two parties found a way to discover inner peace in their relationship – that works, too. Perhaps two boys in neighboring towns in a thrid world country find a way to relate. Perhaps women come together to celebrate themselves and become a healing force. Anything that somehow creates more peace from the inside out and deals with relationships – that counts!
We wil be collecting stories of Inner Peace through relationships and sharing them on Fridays on this blog. If you would like to submit a story, please go to our website: www.CourageousLoving.com and click the “Give Inner Peace” page (see buttons at the left) and submit your story. It must be 250 words or less, and use first names only in the story to keep it anonymous. If you prefer to do an audio or a video piece, contact us and ask.
In the meantime, you can help increase the Inner Peace by purchasing a Give Inner Peace A Chance bracelet. It’s only $10 and all the proceeds go to the Imago Peace Project – an initiative that teaches healing Imago Dialogue to Palestinian and Israeli couples and brings the couple together for a powerful Communalogue experience. Our politicians may not be able to bring peace from the outside in, but we can work to bring peace from the inside out. All the proceeds go to the Peace Project – and Courageous Loving will take care of the shipping wherever you are in the world. See below for action steps.
Thank you so much, and please… GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE.
PURCHASE A “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE” BRACELET FOR $10! All proceeds will go to the Imago Peace Project in the Middle East. Courageous Loving will pick up the tab for shipping wherever you are in the world. TO PURCHASE A BRACELET – CLICK: HERE
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT COURAGEOUS LOVING’s “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE” MOVEMENT or THE IMAGO PEACE PROJECT, CLICK: HERE
LISTEN BELOW TO A BRIEF INTERVIEW
Bette and Michael Friedlander of Pax Programs
WITH BETTE AND MICHAEL FRIEDLANDER OF PAX PROGRAMS TALKING ABOUT THE NEW ROLES FOR MEN AND WOMEN IN 21st CENTURY RELATIONSHIPS
Okay – here’s the deal – when Amy comes home and she says – “Can I share something with you” – she’s not simply telling me a summary of her day, she is asking me to hold a basket of berries that she gathered from the field. And she wants me to keep holding the basket until she is done. And she has a tendency to talk a lot because when she goes out to the field to gather berries – she is talking because it calms the creatures that might kill her out in the field. In other words, she is talking a lot to protect herself from death.
Get it?
Need more?
Let Bette and Michael Friedlander set you straight.
Come see learn about some of the meanings behind the masculin and feminine this Thursday at 9pm EST in a free teleseminar. To RSVP: CLICK HERE
LISTEN BELOW TO AN IMAGO APPRECIATION DIALOGUE RECORDED BY MICHAEL AND AMY SHERMAN OF COURAGEOUS LOVING
Read below and then leave a comment above answering the question: Which is better: Giving or Receiving and Appreciation?
PART 1 of a Series of 3 Monday Blog Posts on THE POWER OF APPRECIATION
STEP 1: ASK PERMISSION
One of the most powerful effects of offering someone an appreciation is 
how quickly it can transform your mood. In an instant, you can change the entire emotional fabric of a relationship with an appreciation. There have been many times when Amy and I have pulled ourselves out of conflict by stopping and “rebooting” with an Imago Appreciation Dialogue. And when we have practiced Appreciation Dialogues for no other purpose other than to connect with each other, it has allowed us to open the door to a new level of personal discovery with each other. It brings us back to the present moment with open-hearted kindness.
Giving and receiving an appreciation is a deep experience. It is not to be glanced over. My friend Judy Umlas, author of the book The Power of Acknowledgment has shared with me that too often, people have a tendency to set aside appreciations, saying something like, “Oh that’s nothing.” How many times have you heard something like that? Or said something like that?
The problem is that when we give an appreciation, it is a little gunshot of love and awareness that we are directing at our partner, whoever that partner may be, and they might not be ready to receive it. Why? Because when we let someone’s love in, the emotion may also touch a place of pain inside of us. Love is a deeply healing emotion, and sometimes people don’t want to experience it. How many of you have someone in your life who doesn’t know how to receive your love? It’s as if they are saying to you, “Please don’t love me, because you will force me to feel my pain — and I’m not ready to go there.”
This is why it is so important to ask permission before you begin sending an appreciation. Now, please understand, many of you are not familiar with the context of Imago Dialogue (YET!), however this piece of advice applies even if you simply want to offer someone an appreciation outside the context of an Imago Dialogue (listen above to a sample dialogue, or peruse our previous blog posts for other examples – see right column below).
Why ask permission? Because it is a kind way of inviting them into an emotional space with you – a space where they have now given you permission to connect with them. It’s like saying, “Knock, Knock – I’d like to open your heart, and I want to make sure you’re ready.” This is an extremely respectful thing to do (especially with work relationships), and it may prevent you from hearing, “Oh, that was nothing,” or “Don’t mention it.” Those kinds of responses are defenses. What you want to hear the receiver say is “Thank you.”
Listen to the audio. Amy knows very well that I’m about to give her an appreciation, but I still ask permission anyway. “I’d like to offer you an appreciation. Is now a good time?” “Yes.” Great. Now I’m in. I have entered her emotional field. It is as if now we are standing in a tent together, protected in a cozy space, fully able to focus on each other. I have set a context for the experience – and, folks, the following sentence is sooooo important! Context is always more important than content. How you say something, where and when you say something, will always make more of an impact than what it is you have just said. Permission creates a context for the receiver to open their heart, however defended or unfocused they may have been before you asked.
This week, offer someone an appreciation – but before you do: ASK PERMISSION.
So here’s a question for you to comment on - What is more gratifying: Giving or Receiving and Appreciation? Please scroll up and click the Comment Link and let us know your thoughts.
Thank you! Warmly, Michael Sherman, Founder Courageous Loving.
(Kindly check back on Friday for our new “Give Inner Peace A Chance” experience).
JOIN OUR LIST AND RECEIVE A FREE 12 PAGE REPORT: How to Turn Frustrating Relationships into Your Dream Life. CLICK: HERE
FOR THERAPISTS, COACHES and HOLISTIC HEALERS: Join us for a “Courageous Clients” – A Free Teleseminar Training – Tuesday, December 1st, 3pm EST – Grow Your Practice and Discover New Tools and Insights about Relationships. To Learn more or RSVP – CLICK: HERE
LISTEN BELOW TO AN AUDIO BY MICHAEL SHERMAN DESCRIBING THE COURAGEOUS LOVING “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE” PROJECT AND HOW YOU CAN HELP INCREASE THE INNER PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST
SCROLL DOWN BELOW TO PURCHASE A “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE
"Give Inner Peace A Chance" Bracelets
BRACELET” – $10 each (we cover the shipping anywhere in the world). All proceeds go to the Imago Peace Project, helping Israeli and Palestinian couples work through conflict as a group with healing dialogue.
Hey there – I want to welcome you to a new tradition. Fridays on this blog, The Courageous Loving Nation, will be devoted to “Give Inner Peace A Chance.” This is going to be a wonderful project that I intend to share with the entire world. Here’s how it works.
We’ll be including material (audio, video and the written word) every Friday that somehow connects to how inner peace was found within a relationship. Now what does that mean? Read below:
INNER PEACE IN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: It can mean the healing and growth of a married couple. It can mean the positive results of taking your mother to therapy. It can mean burying the hatchet between two old friends. And more.
INNER PEACE AT WORK: It may be the story of a peaceful resolution of conflict in the workplace. How you and your boss found a way to accept each other and create success for your company. How you found a way to deal with a difficult co-worker or client. Or it can be something you witnessed in someone else at work — a healing of a professional relationship (be it at your workplace, or somehow you heard the story of conflict resolved in some professional environment that would make a good story).
FOR THERAPISTS, COACHES AND HOLISTIC HEALERS or other related professionals: You can share the story of healing and growth that you have witnessed in a client, or that you have seen happen in your client’s relationship. You can even share how you found more inner peace through the client-caregiver relationship.
Increase the Inner Peace in the Middle East
INNER PEACE IN THE WORLD COMMUNITY: And if you know of a story around the world where any two parties found a way to discover inner peace in their relationship – that works, too. Perhaps two boys in neighboring towns in a thrid world country find a way to relate. Perhaps women come together to celebrate themselves and become a healing force. Anything that somehow creates more peace from the inside out and deals with relationships – that counts!
We wil be collecting stories of Inner Peace through relationships and sharing them on Fridays on this blog. If you would like to submit a story, please go to our website: www.CourageousLoving.com and click the “Give Inner Peace” page (see buttons at the left) and submit your story. It must be 250 words or less, and use first names only in the story to keep it anonymous. If you prefer to do an audio or a video piece, contact us and ask.
In the meantime, you can help increase the Inner Peace by purchasing a Give Inner Peace A Chance bracelet. It’s only $10 and all the proceeds go to the Imago Peace Project – an initiative that teaches healing Imago Dialogue to Palestinian and Israeli couples and brings the couple together for a powerful Communalogue experience. Our politicians may not be able to bring peace from the outside in, but we can work to bring peace from the inside out. All the proceeds go to the Peace Project – and Courageous Loving will take care of the shipping wherever you are in the world. See below for action steps.
Thank you so much, and please… GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE.
Donate $10 to the Imago Peace Project
PURCHASE A “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE” BRACELET FOR $10! All proceeds will go to the Imago Peace Project in the Middle East. Courageous Loving will pick up the tab for shipping wherever you are in the world. TO PURCHASE A BRACELET – CLICK: HERE
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT COURAGEOUS LOVING’s “GIVE INNER PEACE A CHANCE” MOVEMENT or THE IMAGO PEACE PROJECT, CLICK: HERE
LISTEN BELOW TO AN INTERVIEW WITH STEPHEN AND SONJA FRANCIS OF “LOVE LIFE NOW SEMINARS” ON LOVE IN TOUGH ECONOMIC TIMES
Stephen and Sonja Francis
I’m not going to lie. I’m scared now. I’m scared because people who love working with us are choosing to end their journey because of money. I’m scared because I have to change my approach to marketing and maybe I’m doing things wrong. I’m scared because I don’t know what to do with my fear, and sometimes my fear turns into anger. I’m scared because my anger gets released at the people who I care about, who keep me alive.
There. I spoke my truth.
Fear is such an intense emotion. And money is so linked to fear. When it’s real for me, when I can feel the fear rather than run from it or turn it into something else, like anger and blame and resentment, then it shudders through my body and awakens other pieces of me that may have been dormant in my memory. Fear is a very difficult emotion to manage, and yet it is at the core of what is going on in our relationships — particularly now, because of money.
If we can let that shudder run through us, like an animal shaking off trauma, and turn that fear into honest, calmly spoken words, we’ve got a chance to open the door to connection in our relationships that may have been only defensiveness before. Simply saying, “I’m scared because…” and giving a reason has a much more loving impact than “HOW COME YOU DIDN’T … (fill the blank in with defensive anger and blame)” I’m no stranger to the latter. I’m still working towards mastery. I’m still working on turning that shudder of fear into words and letting my words work for me.
SCROLL UP AND LEAVE COMMENTS ABOVE
JOIN US THURSDAY NIGHT, NOVEMBER 12th, AT 9pm EST FOR A LIVE TELESEMINAR INTERVIEW WITH STEPHEN AND SONJA. CLICK: HERE
JOIN OUR LIST AND RECEIVE A FREE 12 PAGE REPORT, “How to Turn Frustrating Relationships Into Your Dream Life!” CLICK: HERE
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN TO A LIVE CONVERSATION WITH STEPHEN AND SONJA FRANCIS OF “LOVE LIFE NOW SEMINARS” TALKING ABOUT THE TURNAROUND IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP
Listening to Stephen and Sonja talk about the “near-death” experience of their relationship
Stephen and Sonja Francis
- where arguments in the early years of their marriage led to an attack with a Milkshake, I am brought to a place of faith and hope and purpose. Like Amy and myself, Stephen and Sonja now lead seminars, they coach clients, they are becoming leaders in this field. And like Amy and myself, they are not perfect – as they share on the audio. Working with people in the field of relationship training is less about being perfect and more about being a product of the process. I am always reminded of those old “Hair Club for Men” commercials: I’m not only the President, I’m also a member.
Amy and I are hardly perfect. My goodness, we just led a public teleseminar and we had our snippy moments. My fault, her fault — we’re both Type A, Dominant, “IT’s MY TURN NOW” people. We’re always going to be that. But we are devoted to working on ourselves everyday. I’m willing to admit that I’m not always getting the results I want out of me, but that doesn’t turn off my commitment. Blame has no place in my relationship – and if it’s there, it’s probably because I haven’t accepted something about Amy, or about myself.
We’ve been to that dark place, that Milkshake-Over-Your-Head place. Sometimes it feels like it’s right around the corner, and sometimes it feels like it’s on vacation and it’s letting us have a run of harmonious happiness. What keeps us coming back to each other? Doing the work. Keeping agreements, creating safety, asking for dialogues, showing up to work with others, healing what needs to be healed in our family of origin. What brings us back to each other are those moments when Amy will say something like, “I couldn’t have married anyone else.” When she witnesses me taking action to making something right in our relationship, with my family, in my career, with my health — it’s like the feeling of a proud parent who loves you like a forever friend.
So – if you are getting close to a “Milkshake Moment” – it’s okay. Dump it. Then make another one and drink it. With two straws. You’re not the only one who’s been there.
EXPERIENCE MICHAEL SHERMAN OF COURAGEOUS LOVING INTERVIEWING STEPHEN AND SONJA LIVE THIS THURSDAY NIGHT, 9PM EST. CLICK: HERE
JOIN OUR MAILING LIST AND RECEIVE A FREE 12 PAGE REPORT: How to turn frustrating relationships into your dream life! CLICK: HERE
WATCH AND READ AN INCREDIBLE INTERVIEW WITH ANDRE AGASSI ON 60 MINUTES TALKING ABOUT HIS NEW BOOK: “OPEN.” CLICK: HERE
I always had respect for Andre Agassi. He only truly landed on my radar in the late nineties.
I noticed him because he was suddenly bald and not too tall, which of course gave me hope. But my awareness of him peaked when I read about him in the Tony Robbins Book, Awaken the Giant Within. In the book, Robbins writes about how Agassi had fallen from the top and had called upon Robbins, a world class personal transformation coach, to help him regain his edge. Within a year, he had won another major and began one of the greatest recoveries in sports history.
But I learned so much more about Agassi tonight, watching him on 60 minutes. And I related – oh did I relate – to so many things in my own personal life. I related to how his immigrant father drove him with obsessive drive to over-excel at tennis. I related to his near devastating embarassment because his trademark hair (when he had it — a wild, multi-colored mullet – acceptable, even fashionable in the 90’s) was falling out, and his fake extensions nearly dropped from his head during a finals match early in his career (I relate to being caught living a lie, not to being bald – sorry, folks). And I related to how he hated tennis – HATED TENNIS (in other words, hated life) and turned to Crystal Meth – because it couldn’t possibly feel any worse. He felt, at the time, that he had no choice. WE ALL FEEL THAT WAY AT THE TIME WE CHOOSE TO MAKE THAT MOVE THAT WE KNOW IS WRONG.
But what moved me deeply was to see this man pull tears of courage when being torn down publicly by his colleague in athetic greatness, Martina Navratalova, who shunned not only his drug use, but the way he kept it a secret. Andre did nothing to defend himself or make his behavior acceptable. But he looked straight in the camera and asked for compassion, to finally admit to the world that he was living a lie, and that all he could do now is come clean and help others (a dropout in 9th grade, he has built a school in a poor section of Las Vegas, his hometown, and raised millions for education). His tears were real. And I believe, his mind was clear.
I loved watching him play a game of tennis with Steffi while Katie Couric watched (see above for link to 60 minutes interview). Katie asked him, “Is this fun at all?” Steffi supportingly repeated the question. Andre allowed himself to squeeze out a boyish, “Yes, it’s fun.”
I don’t care what anyone thinks about the gifts life has thrown at this man – riches, fame and more… his life was loaded with an abundance of suffering. Tennis was not an option. The weight of generations fell upon his shoulders to succeed and save his family. How is a boy in that situation supposed to know anything else other than to hit that ball as hard as he could, again and again and again and again.
Here is a man coming into accountability with his soul. Doing his work. This is what we coach people to do. Look at your role in your relationships. Look how you may be unaware of how you are hurting others. Find compassion for yourself, but get inside the truth and swing at it like a tennis serve. Look at the impact of your choices and make sense of the people who have hurt you. This opens you to a new life, a new vision of yourself. Agassi is now “Open” and his work has just begun. Tennis was a lie that brought him to the truth, brought him Steffi Graf, a wife who understands him, and brought him to the path of becoming a humanitarian.
Did I mention he was undersized and bald?
I love this guy.
LEARN HOW YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE GIVING YOU THE CLUES TO BE TRULY OPEN WITH YOURSELF AND TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND. JOIN OUR LIST AND RECEIVE OUR FREE 12 PAGE REPORT TO BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY. CLICK: HERE.
LISTEN BELOW TO A LIVE IMAGO “SELF-APPRECIATION” DIALOGUE BETWEEN MICHAEL AND AMY SHERMAN OF COURAGEOUS LOVING.
“Tramps like us, baby we were born to run…” 
Bruce Sprinsteen wrote those words. But I have to change them for me – because I was born to write.
What’s tremendous about producing Courageous Loving and working with my wife – helping people to discover and live out their destinies through the clues that their relationships give them – is that it offers me a vehicle to do what I have always done: write! Only now, I can do so with a purpose, with a daily discipline and daily readers. In helping people to awaken to their destinies, I have awakened to my own.
And maybe this sounds a little silly. I mean, I have been writing all my life. I’ve got stacks and stacks of notebooks. I’ve got 8 drafts of 3 unpublished books. I’ve got a crate full of articles, movie reviews and other work gathering dust in the basement. Lots of projects started, very few finished. But I’m a writer…, right? Of course I am. Here is what’s different now: I’m making a commitment to find an audience for my words. The commitment is the difference.
Seth Godin, one of the foremost writers on social media in this new generation, says in his book Tribes, “A movement is waiting to happen, a group of people just waiting to be energized and transformed.” Let my words be the the beginning of this movement, of people who are looking to answer the question: “Who are my relationships calling me to become?“
It starts with me. And my relationship. See, what’s so cool about doing a Self-Appreciation Imago Dialogue (a twist Amy and I created from the Imago Appreciation Dialogue – for more on Imago, click: HERE) – is that I can connect with myself in the loving presence of my partner. I can feel the memories of discovery roll through my body — the echoes of the “fanzines” I started, the undergound newspaper that nearly got me suspended, the spoken word pieces I gutted out on stage — these things flash through me like electric currents, all while my wife holds the space for a complete experience of myself.
Her receiving of me allows me to understand the natural progression of my own life. Through engaging in dialogue, she allows me to claim my own unique destiny. I can not only claim the writer within me, but through the courage my relationship provides me, I am ready to find readers…. everyday.
Let me know your thoughts. Scroll up and leave a comment.
Warmly, Michael
LEARN HOW RELATIONSHIPS LEAVE CLUES TO DISCOVER YOUR DESTINY (OR THE DESTINY OF YOUR CLIENTS). JOIN OUR LIST AND RECEIVE A SPECIAL 12 PAGE REPORT: “How to Turn Frustrating Relationships into Your Dream Life”. TO DO SO, CLICK: HERE
LISTEN BELOW TO A LIVE IMAGO DIALOGUE: AMY AND MICHAEL SHERMAN 
OF COURAGEOUS LOVING WORK THROUGH A RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT TOGETHER
A long time ago, I worked for an ultra-orthodox Hassidic school for little boys. I was teaching them English as a Second Language, although they were born and raised in Brooklyn. As you may imagine, there were some pretty tight rules of what we were allowed to teach these kids. For example, they weren’t permitted to look at any pictures of women, so the Dick and Jane books that we used were filled with black marks completely covering Jane on every page. Kinda limited the curriculum options.
Anyway, it was actually a fun job, and a memorable experience at that. However, one day the administration gave us hand outs to use with the kids, but they neglected to black out the picture of a television on the photocopy. A young boy asked, “Mr. Sherman, what is this?” And I was faced with a choice. Do I keep my integrity and follow the rules I agreed to when I accepted the job? Or to I ignore those rules and do my own thing?
“It’s a television.” “A what?“ “A T.V.” “NO!“ “Actually, yes. And I’m looking forward to watching mine tonight. In fact, I’m going to buy a T.V. and get a job at a T.V. station and create my own T.V. show.” “NO! It’s not true!“
A little fun couldn’t hurt anyone, yes? Well, the next day, there was a meeting with the entire teaching staff. And a very large and intimidating Rabbi spoke to us. Actually, he spoke to me, only everyone else was there. “DON’T MAKE A LITTLE STINK! BECAUSE ONE LITTLE STINK MAKES A BIGGER STINK…. AND THEN ALL YOU HAVE IS STINK!“
And he was right. I made an agreement, and I didn’t keep it. I had some fun, at the expense of keeping an agreement I made. And so it is in our relationships. We are only as good as our word. When we keep our word, we find harmony with others and with our Higher Selves. We remain spiritually clear, and in the flow of positivity. It doesn’t mean we must be hyper and perfect about doing what we say and saying what we do. But when we don’t repair our mistakes, the stink lingers. And too often, relationships are filled with lingering stinks like dead mice. After a while, it can make you sick to be in such an environment.
So listen to this Imago Dialogue between Amy and myself. Over time, we’ll get into the nuances of Imago Dialogue, how it creates safe space between two partners, how it can be used in many situations (including at work – and particularly in sales), and how it can help you keep your word and work through conflict with grace and harmony. Listen for yourself, listen with a partner, or share it with your clients (especially if you are a helping professional). Hear how Amy called me to clean up a stink and get me back into integrity with myself and with her. And listen to how I allow myself to trust the structure.
Let your words do the work for you!
Comments? Feedback? Scroll Up and share! Check out the links to the right.
Much love, and more to come on Imago Dialogue and other topics.
Warmly, Michael
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